Blood Pressure and Ultrasound Update

Whew what a half a week it has been. I swear it feels like longer than that! Although I have had an emotional few days, a wonderful trip to GA and a busy week getting back in the swing of it at work so it is no wonder I feel so tired! There is nothing like coming back to work after a long weekend to conference week...talk about stressful and tiring! But my trip and this crazy week deserve their own posts themselves.

So it seems as if the third trimester has come in like a BANG for lack of better terms. Friday we had an ultrasound to check on the baby and to make sure everything was looking okay as high blood pressure is cause to monitor the baby and I both closely. Well the best and greatest news is Baby B looked over all healthy and was moving around (which my ribs pain from the middle of the night jabs can attest too as well!). However, Dr. M seemed a little concerned at the fact that Baby B's belly is in the 35th percentile so he or she is just below the growth curve. Now when you hear this about your baby who in your eyes is already perfect a sense of panic and the craziest thoughts set in instantly. Now I sort of knew this was a possibility as women with pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) typically have smaller babies. But I still felt devistated because I always figured we would shed tears getting pregnant then the rest would be easy, ha! Plus the hardest part of high bp is you feel fine, but are told you are not. It is hard. Just ask Chris, he is on my case to quit doing things all the time. But after much reassurance that the baby is healthy just will probably be small from my Dr., I have started to dream of now cuddling with a small snuggly little baby..who doesn't think little babies are cute! And not to mention I was little..4 lb 7 oz to be exact. But my sweet pea, we want you to be as big as you can be so please keep growing! So they now are going to monitor the baby's growth through ultrasounds and as long as the baby does not decrease in growth rate everything will be great and the baby should have no problems..may just be a little small! Now, if the baby drops in the percentile range then we may have to look into early delivery..but I do not let my brain go there. We keep telling ourselves we will make it to the 38 weeks the Dr. wants us to and we will then deliver a healthy little bean that will come home with us. After all, as long as the baby is over 5 lbs. or at least 35 weeks we will be able to walk out of the hospital with our little bundle of joy! So as anxious as daddy Brown and I are to meet you Baby B...we nor you are ready just yet! But it is crazy to think that in a mere 10 weeks we will be talking delivery! Maybe that is why Daddy B's and my nesting is out of control!

Well after coming to terms with a smaller baby, it was brought to our attention that my placenta has calcium deposits on it which are like tiny blood clots also known as placenta calcification. Which in regular people terms basically means my placenta is aging faster than the baby. When a mom delivers, her placenta will have white spots on it from aging, but mine are developing early which means my placenta is getting old. Which means I am at a greater risk for placenta abruption and if the spots multiply or get bigger we may have to look at delivery as we do not want the placenta to abrupt and we also do not want the baby to cut off from nutrients....which puts the baby at risk for IUGR (Intra uterine growth retardation) which means the baby is under the 10th percentile. And I thought I was becoming an expert on ovulation, cycles and fertility treatments...guess I now have extended my knowledge into high risk pregnancy. Yes I am here to hire! ;)

Now, Friday I cried a lot. I cried in the Dr.'s office, I cried in the parking lot and I cried a few more times that night and over the weekend. Luckily I have an amazing Dr., an amazing family and an amazing husband who are all my biggest support system. They are keeping me calm, relaxed (or trying to) and positive. Chris once again has been amazing and is helping me to see the positives. Instantly I am one to think the world is caving in and I am quick to freak out. I automatically started to think we would have an unhealthy baby. But he is doing a good job of keeping things in perspective and positive. In his words...For one, I am being monitored closely (weekly) and so each week that I am not on bed rest means the Dr. is not yet panicked, the baby is healthy and I am as well. Another good thing is if he were real worried, I would be on bed rest and talking delivery but as of now it is a week to week basis and I am able to work and as of now the Dr. still thinks I will deliver around 37 or 38 weeks and just seems to be taking extra precaution. He did tell me I need to relax more quit worrying so much and let him do that. And I have to stay off the computer and stop second guessing anything I ever did as this is not caused by anything. So it seems as if I have a to do list before next week.

One of my girlfriends told me the other day I have really bad luck but a wonderful attitude. Little does she know my melt down moments behind closed doors. And let me tell you, hormones are not my friends these days! I cry ALL. THE. TIME. But instead of looking at it as bad luck, I see it as another challenge for Chris and I and getting this baby was not easy and maybe the last of the pregnancy will not be either but that just means we will love you that much more and feel that much more blessed when we hold you and love you forever. And this is part of the journey to you! One day you will read this and this will be a testimate to just how much we love you and how we would go to the moon and back and through fire for you. I already feel this way, and I know my love for you will just continue to multiply by the day. My emotions and love run deep for you and although this is a scary and worrisome time, I just know it will all be okay and you will be perfect to us. I also know that you are meant to be for us and we will always fight for you. And I know that this will all be just a distant memory the first second I hear your cry and I hold you.

As you can tell, I could go on and on about my feelings about this but it is not good for my bp as I usually cry when talking about this as I am that scared and worried. But like I said, for now I will lean on those around me who I am forever grateful for. And most of all, I will pray. As worrying about a healthy child will not do anything. The Lord has brought us to this and will bring us through and his plan will work out. Prayer, family and friends is the perfect mental cure.

Just be sure if you talk to me you have tissues around! So until my Dr. apt. next week..cheers! I will post the ultrasound pics soon, belly updates and much anticipated baby shower post and pictures