This is your story, Morgan Lily

So although I am sure I will never forget a single detail of May 12 and May 13, I thought I should document the birth story of our daughter. At the time it was the most scary, painful yet incredible and exciting time ever. Looking back at it, it was nothing short of amazing. I would relive every single second again. Even though our moms can quote me saying "enjoy this grandchild, you are not getting another one" at the height of my contractions, after Morgan arrived I instantly forgot every single pain and it became the best thing I have ever done. Labor and delivery is one of the most miraculous journeys ever and words can not describe how incredible and really just how "cool" it all was. So here is your story Morgan.

Thursday, May 12th I had an OB appointment (remember I was going twice a week). The plan was if I was dilated 3 cm I was going to be induced that day. If I was not dilated at 3 cm then we would set a date for the following week. So the morning of the 12th I was sure I was not dilated so I did not have it in my mind what so ever that we would be having a baby. Chris was excited because he was hoping it would be that day but I just kept telling him not to get his hopes up, we were coming home after my appointment. In fact, Chris told me to throw my bag into the car just in case and I distinctly remember laughing and telling him it was a waste of time. Boy was I wrong! I had been up since 4 am that morning due to my PUPPPS rash and was just simply miserable. I was not sleeping, was so very swollen (yes see the evidence above. I already look like my old self, crazy just how swollen I was) and just beyond uncomfortable. Lets face it, my pregnancy was not an easy one...see post "Against All Odds" below. In fact, Morgan fit all old wives tales for having a girl. I craved sweets, the pregnancy was not so easy, and she sucked out all my beauty! Hence the swelling again. I did not realize just how puffy I was until I see myself now compared to then. So that morning just as usual, my blood pressure was checked and it had spiked this morning which was alarming to the Dr., as was my PUPPPS. So once he saw my rash and saw my blood pressure, he said "how do you feel about having a baby today?" Now, I was dilated maybe 1/2 cm and this baby had not dropped what so ever. So I knew that he must have had a reason to want to induce me that day even with my body not being ready. Chris and I froze in that moment and I looked at him with a scared "holy crap" look and he had the biggest grin on his face and was already so excited. I responded "really, because I can wait a few more days" and Chris responded "awesome, lets do it!". Now, anyone who talked to me days before this appointment is probably shocked to hear I did not want to do it because for days..okay weeks, I prayed Dr. M would say those magic words. But actually hearing them instantly sent me into a state of fear of the unknown. I instantly started thinking about how I was not mentally prepared, what if the baby was not healthy, what if the baby is not ready, we aren't ready! But ready or not it was happening. The next few hours were a blur as we dropped off Chris' car, he tried to get me to eat something and we checked into the hospital. Chris was extremely calm and just plain giddy. I on the other hand was a nervous mess! At this time I also sent my family into panic as my mom was in Georgia and my dad was in North Carolina. My dad had to drive back to GA from his business trip then got on the road and was there by Friday. My mom, quickly threw things together and hopped on the next flight and made it that night. THANK YOU mom for being there. I can not thank you enough. I needed her and she came so fast. Price of flight, distance, and effort to get here did not matter. I would have been devastated if she was not there, but she made it. And I cried when I saw her.

Once we were at the hospital they started me on pitocin..aka the devil..and also had to put a balloon catheter in to force my body to dilate. I am not going to lie...everything they did was painful. Luckily I had Chris by my side the entire 14 hours holding my hand, rubbing my arms and shoulders and saying encouraging and loving words. His support throughout this entire day and seeing him as a dad has made me fall even more in love with him. I could not have done this without him. He was my biggest support system and we truly were, and still are, a great team. But that day when I needed him most, he stepped up to the plate big time.

But back to the "process". If you know anything about pitocin, you know that it instantly brings on full contractions. Strong and close. So starting at noon I had strong contractions that were 2 to 3 minutes apart. They could not give me my epidural either until I reached 4cm because they needed me up and moving to try and get her head to drop. So 8 hours later, many painful cries and hand holding (Chris' hand I think still hurts) I finally reached 4 cm and they could take the balloon catheter out, break my water and give me drugs...ahhh relief! From 8 to midnight I sat at 4cm and was told we could be in labor for another 12 to 24 hours. I think it was this point I told them to turn off the pitocin and send me home, or do a c section. Please keep in mind at this point I had been up for 20 hours and so they tried to get me to sleep but it was hard.

From midnight to 2 am I progressed to 6cm and then from 2-3 I progressed to 10cm. It happened fast. And once I reached 10 cm all I wanted to do was push, but part of me told our nurse (who was nothing short of amazing, we loved her) that i was scared and did not want to. But when push came to shove, Chris and our nurse talked me through each contraction and each push. And not so sure what happened to my epidural, but I felt a lot. I felt every contraction and every push. I only pushed for about 30 minutes because at one point I had to stop pushing because my Dr. was not there! So as soon as he got there..which he was not even on call, so thank you to the most amazing Dr. for getting up in the middle of the night to come in...I pushed once and Morgan was here!

It was the best feeling. I cried hysterically. My Dr. even commented on how I was deliriously happy. Chris stated he had not seen me cry that hard. I don't know if they were tears of relief that the pain was done, tears of joy that she was here finally, and healthy, or tears of recognition of the tough journey of infertility and pregnancy were over and it was all so worth it. Maybe it was all of that combined. All I do know is I have never been so happy in my entire life. That split second was the best second of my life. Dr. M held her up and said, "well, what is it?" And Chris and I both got huge eyes and said.."It's a GIRL!" Which i then started crying even harder. I always wanted a little girl and assumed I never would have one. I could not believe a sweet little girl was ours. Never mind being able to dress in ridiculously cute clothes with ruffles on the butt, tutus, over sized bows and headbands, and an absurd amount of pink that she will hate me for one day; I would have a daughter to share in all those special mother daughter moments with. We would have a daughter to watch grow up into a loving wife and mother herself. I would have a daughter to watch melt her daddy's heart and become daddy's little girl...which she has already done in a mere 2 weeks. I would have a daughter to do all those special things my mom did with me and have that special mother daughter bond. Our princess had arrived. As I mentioned before, she already has Chris around her little finger and I have seen a whole new man in him. He already has a huge soft spot for her and he is just amazing with her. It is the sweetest thing I have ever seen. Nothing will top that moment when Chris and I both looked at each other and said it was a girl. It was the best surprise and I am so happy we did not find out! Although I now refuse to dress her in any of the gender neutral clothes we had as they were much more "boyish". Lets just say her closet already triumphs mine..rightfully so!

But back to Morgan's arrival. She arrived at 3:47 am and it was not like the movies with lots of doctors and nurses rushing around and a screaming mother. It was a magical and peaceful moment with a doctor, nurse, husband, me and baby. It was quiet, calm and the only sounds that were heard were my tears and Morgan's tears. The second she came out they put her on my chest and I instantly fell in love. Within a second I felt a love deeper than I ever knew existed. I never knew I could love someone so much that I just met. She laid on my chest for about 45 minutes and she was so alert. I just kept kissing her and she just looked around at her new world. It was such a miracle. Our lives changed at 3:47am on May 13th, and they changed for the better. We are already better because of Morgan. Thank you sweet pea.

It was not until about 6:30 that morning that we were moved into our room and the emotional high only continued. I think within 44 hours I slept 4 total, but I was not tired. We were running on pure adrenaline. In fact, when they brought Morgan back into our room after she was checked we both were still in shock this tiny miracle was ours. The emotions that she has brought me these past 2 weeks aer so raw and so true. We are so in love, so happy and so blessed. Thank you Lord for blessing us with Morgan and thank you Morgan for teaching us how to love this deep.

I will post a link later for more pictures of Morgan..seeing how we have so many and it is hard to chose what to post!